August 6th, 2014
Back when Jen and Tim were married over five years ago now I was just pregnant enough to start worrying about who I would be as a parent. And wouldn’t you know what wonderful, wonderful Jen had the nerve to do the day of her own wedding? She ran up to me, hair done up and full of glee and handed me a beautiful, thoughtful baby gift. With all she had to do that day, all she had to bring with her and assign and sign she had taken the time to wrap up a beautiful silver spoon and hand it to an emotionally overreactive pregnant woman that she barely knew, all while getting ready for her own wedding. Predictably, I cried crocodile tears. And then I cried more of them during their ceremony an hour later. Thankfully I’m pretty good at shooting through tears.
The next day I remember thinking, that Jen, she’s going to be a good mom. I don’t have it nearly together enough to do this, I can’t even send my sister a birthday card on time, I really really want to be a more thoughtful and generous and patient and organized person but truthfully I’m just not. Jen and Tim are going to be good though. Even on the days when they suck they are still going to be good.
So I smiled pretty big when I got the email that they were expecting. When I look at these photos with their daughter Adelaide, just over two weeks old here, I see their immense gratitude as well as the peace of mind that has been slow to arrive but is now coming. Ya, I think they are going to be pretty good at this. I think they already are because its always who they were. Its just bigger now.
As for me, my worry back in June of ’09 was probably fair but I turned out all right. I won’t be publishing any parenting books anytime soon but you know what? I show up. I hang in there. There are parts of me that have changed for the better and T1 diabetes has made me way better at math. I still can’t get a birthday card out on time to save my life and I’m always working on all the qualities of being that I hope he will one day grow to don himself. But in the grand scheme of things? Its OK. I’ve got this.